What is gravity?

Why does it exist?

How does it work?

I've heard it said in a philosophical debate that events have "Gravity", that they become more powerful the longer that the remain unchanged...unchallenged. I guess that makes them like a Singularity, right? At some point they reach a degree of "Gravity" such that they cannot be altered or escaped.

Egypt fell, Rome, the Byzantine Empire, the Han Dynasty, the Reich. Are we next? Have we crossed that Event Horizon? Have we declined so far that we cannot save ourselves?

Our personal lives are the same way, I think. We are each born with the potential to do anything. Some have that stripped away almost at once. Some fall over a period of years or decades. Some....some few live up to their potential. I think that number has been decreasing for some time. More and more of our bright lights are failing and falling into the darkness.

Not very Zen I guess but something I have been pondering for a while.

"Do not go Gentle into that Good Night
Rage! Rage against the Dying of the Light." -Blake

Can we do it?

I don't know.

Quite a bit longer than I expected, actually.

Lots of things have come to pass.....things I would have told you that you were full of crappola 18 months ago if you came to me and told me about this past year.

Family members have died. Friends are back in harm's way. Friends have suffered losses in thier families too. Mom S. is back in her third round of Chemo......That's not a good thing.

I've heard a lot about Trust this year too. Anyone who really knows me knows that its earned from me, not handed out like a leaflet at a Shopping Mall. Its also maintained......like checking you washer fluid and oil. Some think its a free ride I guess....that they can say or do what they like and I'll just shrug and forget it. I didn't take that many hits overseas, folks.

Someone said that they wished I had died in Iraq. There are days I wish that they had gotten their wish....after nights of no sleep or worse, nights of fitful sleep and dreams I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Through it all.....there is fear. Funny....the first time I got shot at, my knees where shaking when it was over......my heart rate was something around a hummingbird, I was sweating like I walked out of a shower and my mouth was stone dry. I wasn't afraid after that first time. I couldn't be....too many people depended on me being 1000% in control. It wasn't until I came home and started to "relax" that I could feel Fear again. Now I feel it every day....not a fear of death, not by a longshot but rather a dozen little fears that add up to great dreams.

Part of me is still there...part of me will always be there...I've accepted that with some help from some folks at the VA. Now I just have to get as much of me home as I can.

That's the journey I'm on now. One step at a time. Come along or bugger off.....your choice.

And thus ends the least Zen post to grace this Blog.