I used to train in the Dojo 5 days a week and that was with additional workouts at lunch 3 days a week. All total I would spend between 12 and 20 hours a week training in Karate. I did that for 10 years. I was in the best shape of my life and I was the most relaxed.

Its funny.....I knew that I could utterly destroy almost anyone that stood in front of me but that knowledge was enough to remove any desire to do so. When someone baited me I would just chuckle, smile and walk away....them never knowing how close they had just come.

Until January I had been away from any sort or martial arts training for over 2 years. I did practice on my own and I would play with some friends who used to go to the same school as I did but formal and regular training was out of the question. I've fought bouts of depression that never seemed to really end. And then I went back to a Dojo...Aikido this time....I'm too banged up from the Military and Karate to go back to the kind of training I was doing before. Aikido is completely different and should not be judged by what Steven Segal does in the movies. Its avoiding impact, avoiding using strength and avoiding conflict. I always feel great when I leave there and for a few hours after.

I just think its funny that capacity to inflict pain is often opposed to wanting to....at least for me.